


Trust Me

by denkibee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Trust Issues, akaashi and bokuto have a loving relationship, argument, but all of that is in the past, but they have a pretty big argument, but they’re okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24787225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denkibee/pseuds/denkibee
Summary: Akaashi doesn’t know when he started to lose faith in Bokuto.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 133





	Trust Me

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR A PAST ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!! please stay safe!!

Akaashi doesn’t know when he started to lose faith in Bokuto.

Was it when he started getting home two hours later than he was supposed to? Or maybe when he showed up and his hair was a complete mess, looking like hands had been running through them.

Akaashi hated it. He hated that he was suspecting his boyfriend like this. They had been together since Akaashi’s third year of high school, and he never thought he would be in a situation like this.

He wanted to believe Bokuto, he wanted to trust that he actually was staying late at work. But he knows that there’s no way that’s true. 

And it hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Akaashi hates the feeling that is plaguing his mind, forcing doubts into his mind. 

When Bokuto gets home, Akaashi is already laying in bed. Bokuto goes to him and presses a kiss to his head. 

Laying down next to him, Bokuto begins to speak.

“I’m sorry, Keiji. I know I’ve been-“

“Who is it?” A voice suddenly cuts him off. Bokuto looks at Akaashi, surprised.

They lay in silence for a few seconds, before Bokuto speaks up.

“Keiji, what do you mean?” He asks, and Akaashi sits up, turning to face Bokuto.

Akaashi’s expression contorts into one that Bokuto has never seen on the other man. They’ve known each other for 8 years now, but Bokuto has never seen Akaashi this angry.

“Who the fuck is it? No actually, I don’t care about that. Why? Was I not good enough? Do I not make you happy enough?” Akaashi yells, and at this point tears are streaming down his face, but he doesn’t care.

Bokuto’s face turns from surprise to fear, and he suddenly stands up.

“You think im fucking cheating on you?” Bokuto yells, his voice shaking with anger and disbelief. He clenches his hands, trying to supress his anger.

“Am I wrong though?! You’re never here anymore, Koutarou , and I’m sick of it. The situation is pretty fucking obvious if you ask me!” Akaashi yells back, his hands clutching the bottom of his shirt.

“Yes, you’re wrong! I would never even think about cheating on you, Keiji! You wanna know why i’ve been staying overtime at work, huh? Do you?” Bokuto asks, practically screaming at this point.

Akaashi nods his head, and Bokuto ruffles through his bag before pulling something out.

“I was going to ask you to fucking marry me! I’ve been working so hard to save up for a goddamn ring so I could propose to you! I cant fucking believe you dont trust me, Keiji.” Bokuto asks, and tears drip onto the ground as he clutches his hair.

And now it all makes sense. Bokuto working overtime, him grabbing at his hair when he gets stressed, making it look messy. Akaashi mentally punches himself.

He looks up to see Bokuto, sobbing and shaking. “Kou-“ He is cut off by his boyfriend grabbing his bag and walking out of their bedroom, slamming the door. 

Akaashi grabs a pillow and sobs into it. This is the biggest argument they’ve ever had, and he knows that it’ll be really hard to fix.

But how does he even bring up his trust issues? Bokuto being the only person he’s ever fully trusted, seeing even one thing that indicates Akaashi shouldn’t trust him makes him spiral.

Now he’s lost his best friend and the love of his life, and he’s scared that he’ll never come back. 

However Bokuto comes back the next day to get his things, and he looks completely dead. He’s practically just an empty shell of a human, completely devoid of emotion.

“Please, just let me explain Kou.” Akaashi pleads and Bokuto sighs, sitting down in front of him.

Akaashi takes that as a sign to start talking.

“When I was younger... like, before I even met you, I met someone. He was so kind, he never did anything to hurt me. I really liked him, and I thought he liked me back. But when I told him I wanted to join the volleyball team in high school, he got angry.” 

Akaashi stops and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“He didnt want me to join. He started getting manipulative, Kou. When we started high school, he wouldn’t even let me go near the gym. I would always have bruises on my wrists from him dragging me away, not letting go until we were too far for me to run back.”

Bokuto looks at the other boy, and notices the tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Despite all of that though, I still loved him, and I still believed that he loved me. I know, that sounds so stupid. but I was young and naive, and he took advantage of that.”

Akaashi looks up at Bokuto and smiles sadly, before looking back at his hands.

“But then I met a star, and he became the only thing that mattered to me. His brightness was completely blinding, but it made me want to get closer. I was so scared of getting burned from getting too close, but something told me to trust him.”

Akaashi fiddles with his hands, not daring to look up again.

“So I did. I trusted him, and it was the best decision of my life. I realised that my relationship wasn’t healthy, and I managed to get out of it. And then that star convinced me to join the team. I was so terrified, I didn’t want to get hurt.”

“But I knew that I was safe with you, my star. You made everything okay again. Of course, the bad memories didnt completely go away, but you gave me good ones and I learned to let go of the past.”

Bokuto stayed silent, waiting for Akaashi to finish.

“So when you started coming home later, I got so scared. Somewhere in my mind I knew that you would never do that to me, but I couldn’t help the doubts from seeping into my mind. I’m sorry.”

Akaashi finishes, and wipes a few tears from his face. He’s never told anybody about that, and he has no idea what Bokuto is going to say. He’s scared to even look at him.

Suddenly a hand is gently wrapping around his, and he looks up.

“Kou, why are you crying?” Akaashi asks, and Bokuto sniffles.

“You didnt deserve any of that, Akaashi. I’m sorry for not letting you explain yesterday, and I’m sorry for not realising sooner.” Bokuto says, and Akaashi shakes his head.

“There’s no way you could have known, and your reaction was justified. I’m so sorry for not believing in you, Koutarou.” Akaashi says gently, rubbing the back of Bokuto’s hand with his thumb.

Bokuto smiles and opens his arms, inviting Akaashi into a hug. Akaashi immediately accepts, melting into the warm embrace. He knows that they’ll talk about this more later, but right now all he cares about is being in the arms of the person he loves, and who- he knows- loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! feel free to scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sunshinoya)!!!


End file.
